Wake me up before the breakfast show show.
I have always had trouble with sleeping. Not getting there, but getting back, which is why I need an alarm to prevent me sleeping through till lunch. In recent years, I have found the best solution to be an alarm that turns on the radio then gently increases in volume until it is loud enough for dead people to hear. Most mornings, it is sufficient to rouse me from my slumber.
My choice of station has always been Radio 4 and as I drift into consciousness my dreams become intertwined with a mixture of John Humphrys’ voice, the world news and accounts of the previous day’s playground behaviour in parliament.
For some time (years), Rachel has complained about being woken up with such negative and aggressive information being blared at her from my side of the bed, so I thought I would try to keep her happy by tuning the radio to a different channel. The results were mixed.
Wake me up before the breakfast show show. Click To Tweet
On Thursday, I tried Radio 2, which in theory should have been fine. I usually view Radio 2 as a mixture of talk and music, whereby the music and the DJs all hail from a previous generation (the current previous generation being mine). Essentially, Radio 2 is what Radio 1 was thirty years before. One problem with such a scenario is that there are very few of the 1980’s radio scene available for work these days, so alternatives have been sought. It didn’t take long for Vanessa Feltz’ witterings and the sound of her blowing kisses to make me aware that the day had begun. Then, after dozing through ‘My old man’s a dustman’ (which is an old song even by my Mum’s standards) and SARA COX, A DJ WHO THINKS THAT OVER EXUBERANCE MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE YOU’RE A FUN PERSON, I concluded that Radio 2 had failed the test on its first attempt. (Fortunately SARA COX was only standing in for Chris Evans, so I might try the station again when Chris is back.)
I decided to look elsewhere on the dial and tried to tune to BBC Radio Devon. Unfortunately, this is broadcast on 103.4 MHz and is completely overpowered by Heart Radio which seems to have commandeered every frequency from 96-107 MHz. Consequently, the BBC Radio Devon signal is so poor it is like trying to listen to a timid librarian at a Motorhead concert. Still, maybe Heart Radio is worth a try. I tuned it in and went to bed.
Friday morning was different. It was Good Friday, and as such, I didn’t require an early morning call. Unfortunately, my radio wasn’t aware of this and treated it like any other Friday and I was brought to life abruptly by the bellowing cry of “WILL YOU TURN THAT OFF!” No, SARA COX hadn’t been transferred to Heart Radio overnight. It was Rachel trying to avoid aggressive noise in the morning.
Peace. Tranquility. The radio is set not to come on on a Sunday, so it is time for a lie-in. No such luck. The kids have come to visit this weekend. I say visit, they are not so much visiting us as using our house as a free B&B while they visit everyone except us. So, this morning instead of John Humphrys and SARA COX, I was awoken by our granddaughter jumping on the bed and thrusting a toy pelican into my face, which, as strange as it sounds, is a lot less annoying than Vanessa Feltz blowing kisses at me.
The search for the ideal wake-up call continues.
What gets you up?
What are you getting up to these days?